I'm not Dying
by suicidalunicorn97
Summary: After taking down an unsub, Hotch begins to display concerning symptoms. Will the team be able to save him before it's too late? Hurt!Hotch fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Please excuse the medical inaccuracies. I'm not a doctor. This fanfiction is based on one I read that hadn't been updated since 2009. (I'm Fine, by 1RedGuitar) This is chapter one, new chapter coming soon, hopefully tomorrow :)**

* * *

"Damn. That guy was like super-human. He threw me across the room like it was nothing. And did you see how hard he hit Hotch?" Morgan winced as the EMT's tended to his cuts and bruises.

"It's actually not that uncommon for drug users to display seemingly super-human strength. Studies have shown that PCP unexpectedly produces substantial cortical activation in humans, hence the rage. It's really interesting-"

"Reid, stop." Morgan chuckled. "Save the lecture on street drugs for the plane ride. Go check on Hotch."

Reid smiled, and walked over to the other ambulance. It had been a fairly easy case to solve. The unsub was suffering a psychotic break due to drug use, and had murdered three people. The team had been able to locate and subdue him before he could drop another body.

"How is he?" Reid asked the medic who was examining Hotch.

"I'm fine, Reid. Thanks for asking."

"Actually-"

"Actually nothing. We have a plane to catch." Hotch cut the Medic off.

"Hey, where's the fire?" Rossi overheard, and joined the conversation.

Hotch sighed. "I just want to get home to Jack."

"That's understandable, but let the man do his job. How is he, really?"

"He doesn't have any broken ribs, but that guy hit him pretty hard. I suggest a trip to the hospital to check for internal bleeding."

"You heard him." Rossi shrugged.

"No, please." Hotch shakily rose to his feet. "I'm okay. I've had worse. Can we please just get on the plane?" He limped away without waiting for an answer.

The EMT shrugged. "He's probably fine. I'll clear him to fly."

* * *

An hour later, they were boarding the plane. Rossi kept an eye on Hotch, knowing that their unit chief wouldn't voluntarily admit that he was in pain. Hotch seemed to be okay, just a little sore. He gingerly placed his bag on the ground and took his usual seat by the window.

"How are you doing, Morgan?" Hotch asked. "That unsub really tossed you around."

"I'm fine, just some scrapes and bruises."

"Yeah, the biggest blow was to his ego. It's not every day the great Derek Morgan gets knocked out by a scrawny drug addict." Prentiss smirked.

"Hey, the dude was basically the Hulk! Just ask Reid."

"Oh no. Did you really just-" Prentiss glared at Morgan as Reid began to explain in detail the effects of PCP and other street drugs on the adrenal glands.

Rossi chuckled. It was going to be a long flight.

*an hour later*

"Hotch, are you okay?" Rossi sat down next to him. He'd been even more quiet than usual, not saying more than ten words since the flight started.

"I'm fine."

As soon as Hotch spoke, Rossi could tell that something was off. His voice was short, and he was clearly in pain. He was sweating, and looked pale.

"You should know better than to lie to a profiler. What's going on?" Rossi asked quietly, knowing that Hotch wouldn't want attention drawn to him.

"Nothing. Just sore."

Rossi didn't push it, but the agent's body language told the truth about how Hotch was really feeling. His hands were gripping the arm rests tightly, knuckles white. His breathing was shallow, as if it hurt to draw a deep breath. "Please tell me if it gets worse."

Hotch nodded. "I think I just need to lie down." He gingerly rose from his seat, but immediately cried out in pain and fell to the ground.

"Aaron!" Rossi dropped to his knees beside his friend, and the rest of the team gathered around.

"What's going on?" JJ asked worriedly.

" _Nothing_ , I'm fine." Hotch said through clenched teeth.

"Hotch, you just collapsed. That's not my definition of 'fine'." Reid frowned. "You need to tell us what's going on. What are your symptoms?"

Gripping Rossi's arm tightly, Hotch managed to pull himself up. "I just need to lie down."

They helped him to one of the couches. "How much longer til we're home?" Morgan asked JJ.

"Still another half hour." She said anxiously. "Think we need to make an emergency stop?"

"No stops."

"Hotch, you gotta help us out here. What are your symptoms?" Reid asked again.

"I know you're a doctor, but you're not that kind of doctor." Hotch smiled weakly.

"Hotch, please."

The unit chief looked up at the concerned faces surrounding him. He sighed. "Fine. But would you all stop looking at me like I'm dying?"

"For all we know, you could be dying." Prentiss pointed out.

"I'm just feeling a little weak. I have some nausea, but that's what happens when you get punched in the gut by a PCP-crazed serial killer."

"What else?"

"I'm a little lightheaded...and I feel like I can't get enough air."

Reid frowned. "I need to look at the bruise."

"What?"

"Is it a stabbing pain or more of an ache?"

"Kind of...both?"

"I need to see it." Reid knelt by the couch and as he lifted Hotch's shirt, he could feel the older man trembling slightly. "Hotch, you're shaking." He stated with concern as he saw the bruise, which was darkening to a nasty purple shade. He gently placed his fingers on the lower right quadrant and Hotch hissed in pain.

Reid stood shakily. "We need to get him to a hospital as soon as possible."

"Why? What's going on? Morgan asked with alarm.

"This is extremely serious. Abdominal guarding and distension indicates he's bleeding internally."

 _Internal bleeding? This wasn't good..._


	2. Chapter 2

Rossi was the first to act. "I'm going to redirect the jet to the nearest hospital."

Hotch didn't object, which was definitely indicative that something was seriously wrong. He just laid there on the couch, jaw clenched in pain. It was unsettling to see him like this. He was still trying to control his facial expressions, his breathing, trying to act normal...but it was obvious that he was hurting.

The older agent could feel his team anxiously watching him. He let out chuckle that turned into a hiss of pain. "Guys, I'm-I'm okay."

"Don't talk, Hotch." Morgan said.

"It's okay. I'm gonna...gonna be okay. Please don't worry."

Unbelievable. He was the one lying there in agony, but he was still trying to console his team, make sure they were all right. "Aaron, would you let us take care of you for once?" JJ touched his cheek gently. When she felt his fevered skin, her eyes widened. "Guys, he's burning up."

Reid put a hand to Hotch's forehead. "This isn't good." He murmured.

Just then, Rossi returned from the cockpit. "They're making an emergency landing at the nearest airport. We should arrive within ten minutes, and there'll be an ambulance waiting. How is he?"

"Not good." Prentiss said quietly. "He's running a fever."

"He'll be okay. He always is."

Suddenly Hotch cried out in pain, clutching at his stomach. "Something...Something is wrong." He gasped.

"What is it?" Reid was at his side in under a second.

"Hurts." Hotch groaned.

"What kind of hurt?"

"Stabbing..."

"It's gonna be okay." Reid's voice was shaking, and it wasn't very convincing. Hotch could see the panic in the younger agent's eyes.

"Reid...don't worry."

"Hold on, Aaron. We're almost there." Rossi put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Suddenly ten minutes seemed like an eternity. Would Hotch last that long?

* * *

 **Sorry for the short chapter, I'm babysitting my siblings and just writing inbetween when I can. Next chapter coming soon :) How are you guys liking it so far? Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed! It means a lot to me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Short author's note. Jessica is Jack's aunt, Haley's sister. She took care of Jack after Haley died. Just for those of you who forgot who she was. I know I had to look up her name haha.**

* * *

As soon as the plane touched down, Rossi and Morgan gently lifted Hotch off the couch. He made a noise that could only be described as a whimper, and that was perhaps the most frightening thing Reid had ever heard. He never thought he'd hear his unit chief make such a vulnerable noise.

The two agents met the paramedics at the door, and carefully placed him on a stretcher. The team exited the plane in record time. "I'll go with him. I'll meet the rest of you at the hospital." Rossi quickly jumped in the ambulance before anyone could protest. As the vehicle sped away, they could only pray Hotch would be all right.

* * *

The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming. As the team paced the lobby, they anxiously awaited word from the surgeon. Morgan paced the halls. JJ and Reid clung to each other and tried to hold back tears. Prentiss picked at her nails nervously. Rossi put his head down and prayed.

"Family of Aaron Hotchner?" Finally the surgeon appeared in the hallway.

They all jumped up. "Is he gonna be okay?" Reid's voice broke.

"I believe he'll make a full recovery."

They breathed a collective sigh of relief.

"He was lucky; another ten minutes and it would have been too late. We were able to find the bleed just in time. Next time an agent sustains an injury like that, take them to the hospital. It's always better to be safe than sorry."

Rossi felt sick. The first responder at the scene had suggested Hotch go to a hospital to check for internal bleeding. He had heard the man say this could happen! He should have made Hotch get checked out...

He felt a hand on his arm. "It wasn't your fault." Morgan said quietly.

"Remind me not to play poker with you."

"Come on, man. It doesn't take a profiler to see that guilt written all over your face. Relax. He's gonna be just fine."

They went into the recovery room where Hotch was lying. He was still unconscious, but his color was better. His face had been an ashen gray on the plane. He looked much better now that his features weren't contorted in pain. He laid there peacefully sleeping, and Reid noted with some sadness that this was the most relaxed he'd ever seen their leader.

Hotch started stirring, his eyes fluttering open.

"Hey Aaron. How are you feeling?" Rossi asked.

"Told you I wasn't dying." He gave them a small smile.

"Yeah, but next time don't cut it so close, man." Morgan shook his head.

"Sorry for scaring you. Are you alright, Reid?"

"Me?" The youngest member of their team laughed. "You're the one who just spent hours in surgery because of internal bleeding. I'm great, Hotch."

"Did someone make sure Jack is alright?" Hotch tried to sit up, but yelped as he felt his stitches tugging.

"Woah, easy...Prentiss gently pushed him back and motioned for Reid to get a nurse.

"I called Jessica, and they took the first flight they could get. They'll be here soon." JJ said, taking his hand.

"Thanks."

Reid returned with the nurse. "How are you feeling, Agent Hotchner?" She asked with a smile.

"Great. When can I go home?"

She raised an eyebrow. "When you're honest with me, we'll talk about it. What's your pain level?"

"Maybe a six."

"A six? And you didn't call for me sooner?" The nurse looked shocked as she adjusted the morphine drip.

"I've had worse." Hotch mumbled as his eyelids began to feel heavy.

"I think you should let him rest now." The nurse suggested. "One of you can stay, but it would be best if most of you left the room."

"I'll be okay." Hotch's words were slightly slurred. "All of you go rest. It's been a long week."

The team looked at each other. None of them wanted to leave. "Can I stay?" Reid asked. He wanted to make sure Hotch was really going to be okay. There was no way he'd be able to relax back at a hotel.

"Sure." Hotch nodded sleepily.

"Call us if anything changes, okay Spence?" JJ made him promise.

As he watched Hotch drift off, he noticed how the creases on the older man's forehead faded. He looked much younger when he was sleeping. It was sad that the only time their Unit Chief could relax is when he was sleeping.

Hotch did so much for their team. He was like a father to Reid. This experience had shaken the young agent. To him, Hotch was invincible; untouchable. A reminder of his mortality was upsetting. He remembered how Hotch had tried to comfort him on the plane. In the middle of all that pain, the man's first thought was of his family.

They might tease Hotch about his serious demeanor, how emotionless he seemed; but Reid would never doubt that Hotch cared about each member of his team.

They were a family.


End file.
